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Be Curious, Not Judgmental

By David RichmanManaging Director, Advisor Institute

When it comes to making first encounters count, "be curious, not judgmental" (Walt Whitman), especially when you disagree with the other person's point of view.

Applying the first dynamic of Chasing Positivity—communicating empathically—to your conversations can help. Communicating empathically is the practice of understanding another person's perspective by leaving yourself behind.

If we jump to judgement, empathy becomes challenging if not impossible. How can you see the world through another person's eyes if you are looking through your own judgmental lens? Here are two steps to communicate empathically:

First: Lead with genuine curiosity.

A powerful shift in mindset can take shape if you replace that judgmental thought—"It's crazy he sees things this way"—with a curious one—"I wonder what led him to see things this way?"

Second: Validate their perspective.

Validation does not mean you agree, it means you heard them, which fosters positive emotions that they will forever associate with you. People want to be heard—it makes them feel secure, content and more apt to follow your lead.

Bottom line: Be curious, not judgmental, to help you understand another person's perspective and communicate empathically.